


knowing.

by withoutwords



Series: Isak and Even Short Fics. [3]
Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Angst, Comfort, M/M, Mental Illness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-18
Updated: 2016-12-18
Packaged: 2018-09-09 11:10:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8888611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/withoutwords/pseuds/withoutwords
Summary: “The truth is,” Even hears himself say, quiet and rumbling and secret. “I only went to Vilde’s meeting because I wanted to see you.”





	

**Author's Note:**

> Just as a reference, I thought I'd mention this was written before the 15:15-01:01 clip. After 'Dette er Even', when Sonja tries to call Isak.

When it’s finally quiet, Isak’s standing in the middle of his room with his hood pulled up to hide his face. And Even could pretend he can’t see - the red of his cheeks and his eyes and his mouth, the tears that are still leftover - but he won’t. They’re here now. They’re moving on. 

“Tell me the truth," Isak says on a shaky breath that claws at Even’s throat. He’s dragging in a breath and rubbing at his face, asking again, “Please, just tell me what’s going on…”

Even’s closing the gap without thinking. He paws at Isak’s face, his hair, knocking off his hood; he’s pressing his mouth to Isak’s forehead and breathing him in, filling his lungs. Isak doesn’t move.

“The truth is,” Even hears himself say, quiet and rumbling and secret. “I only went to Vilde’s meeting because I wanted to see you.”

“What?”

“And that day you needed me to buy you beer? I lied about not having my ID. It was in my pocket the whole time.”

Isak snuffles, mockingly. Even’s sure he can feel him shift closer. His hand curls tighter at the back of Isak’s hoodie, and he stands so close their bare feet kick.

“And I did break up with Sonja,” Even goes on, eyes closing, trying to focus, trying to give just enough, trying to steady, “Like I told you. But then I pulled away because I was scared. I thought you might not want me. I thought the risk of losing you would be worse than the pain of not having you at all. I was wrong. I was so, so wrong. ”

“Fuck,” Isak gasps, and he’s finally moving, finally grabbing at Even’s sides and looking into Even’s face and seeing him again. Or seeing him new. “Even.”

He takes Isak’s face in his hands, rubs thumbs along the mottled skin of his cheeks. And it hurts, knowing he did that, or did nothing to stop that, but it hurts too much to fix it right now. It hurts too much to know how.

“And when you messaged me that night to tell me to make up my mind… I was already here,” Even admits, and their foreheads are pressed together and Isak’s mouth falls open, just, and it’s all too much, and not enough, and that’s Isak. Even’s so lost in Isak. “I was trying to talk myself into coming up like I had every night for a week. I was trying to be the brave one but it’s you that’s brave, you’re amazing, Isak, I - ”

Isak’s the one to break the space, to smash their lips together so that their teeth clink, to open his mouth and offer his tongue and mend a few cracks that they’d found now, under all this weight.

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me, I get that,” Even says, to the little space between their mouths. “But you know this. You and me. And you know it’s real. Right?”

Isak nods. “And the other stuff?”

“You’ll have it. I promise.”

“When you’re ready,“ Isak says gently, into the dark, and Even knows it won’t be easy. But he knows he’s not alone.


End file.
